I am a mom of 3 boys and yet this week, alone, I have watched portions of Frozen at least 27 times. No, this is not an article about screen time so simmer down in the back...
It's about the love of princesses. The love for all bright colors and glitter and sparkles and things that smell good and are "pretty". My oldest is sadly phasing out- though he knows he will be sent to live in the basement if he ever makes a comment about something being "girly" and my youngest is at the phase of utter obsession. Blakey can hang on either end- beauty of the middle child life.
As I watch Rhett enter this phase, I'm reminded of a time where we saw Elsa with Liam and Blake. Below is what my fired up boymom brain wrote a few years ago...
My boys love princesses. My boys love the movie, Frozen. My boys love both Elsa and Anna and debate which one is cooler on the regular...I love that.
Today we were talking about stereotypes of girls and boys and this moment popped into my head- I got a little "mom angry", all over again .
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As we came late and pushed through the sea of little girls... we stood there, quite awkwardly, to see if we could possibly get a picture with Elsa. Elsa called out "Princesses princesses are there any other princesses out there?" My six year old looked up at me, all of sudden embarrassed to want to see her, and said, "No mom cmon it's just for girls...listen to what she said."
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Well if you know me we weren't turning around after that. I took their hands and explained that she just forgot to also say "princes". We stepped closer and continued to step closer....maybe she saw my mom dagger eyes shooting lazer beams at her above my mask Regardless, she noticed, she called for all the princes and my two older princes and I went up
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Yeah we made muscles. Yeah they're stereotypical loud and crazy little boys who want to wrestle but don't you dare count them out of a princess celebration. I love that. It may not stay this way forever but let THEM decide that.
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Today, there are now 3 boys, 1 man, and 1 male dog that live in this home. Our house is covered with dirt, rocks, sticks, trucks, balls, and all things that scream BOY. Potty talk is at it's finest and sometimes I'm quite horrified how they will all turn out. Sure, I fear for my own sanity as well...among the pee covered toilets... but without that younger female influence in this house, will they learn to appreciate, respect, and understand the opposite sex as well as families with children of different genders?
As they get older we're trying to teach sensitivity toward all people, not just because of their gender. A boy may continue to love Elsa's dress his entire life. And a girl may be quite infatuated with playing with sticks and rocks. We should not exclude or assume our friends are not interested in something due to their gender. Just as we should not assume they all want to wrestle, tackle, jump, and yell at each other on a trampoline just because they're "a boy".
We need to be cognizant of all and while remaining ourselves, be able to take a step back and truly "see" all people in the room.
We try hard to understand the world of doing crafts here. We have baby dolls in our home.
We make bracelets and play "family". We have play kitchens and pink is a color we are all fine with but it's hard to not get caught up in what the stereotypes paint for a home of all boys.
I hope that while they are wild impulsive animals now 🙃 they will grow to be gentlemen that show empathy and vulnerability and have diverse interests.
As a mom of all boys, I beg you to allow your boys to cry when they are hurt. Do not compare them to their sister or a girl down the street when they are emotional. Paint their nails when they curiously ask. Let them wear your headbands. When they pick the pink cart- let it happen. Allow them to love princesses and reprimand them if they nervously poke fun at another for "different than stereotypical boy/girl behavior". Force them to help you bring in groceries and continue to tell them to think first before they act. While "boys may be boys" do NOT give up on them becoming gentlemen in the process too.
Moms of girls - I don't know your world- but please talk to your princess about accepting boys as friends, as we discuss having girls as friends. I've seen this shift around 1st grade and it makes me so sad. They need you🙃as you need them. They make mistakes...just as little girls do. They're often impulsive and unaware but we're working to fight that. They're not all the same. Call them out but give them a chance.
My boys- let your "funness" stay untamable but may we fight to never be too wild or too quick or too cool to notice the beauty in all things/people around us. May the world allow you to act as you are without feeling pressure to be different. May you have the confidence to stand tall wherever you are....in the woods or at an Elsa concert or holding hands in a parking lot.
xohboys,
mom
I love it! You are raising them to be kind, thoughtful and sensitive people who care!! ❤️