Prairie Dresses or High Heels

"In my opinion, women should be the homemakers"

This was a direct quote from a conversation my sister in law had last week with someone. I’m picturing someone from the 1800s that's wearing a little house on the prairie dress speaking these ancient words. ‘Homemaker’ - I just threw up in my mouth.

My sis in law works full time and her baby is almost 2. She is a phenomenal mother who rocks her job and very much loves her baby. The comment left her feeling she doesn't do enough at the house or with her child. The exchange left her longing to be at home more or feeling that she should be longing to be at home more or quite frankly -c o n f u s e d- as to what she actually wants. This comment made her feel she wasn't good enough.

She should go take her prairie dress somewhere else. Moving on...

"Well… it’s not like you need to be anywhere important ever or get dressed up or anything..."

This is a direct excerpt from a conversation I had with a mom who was sitting at a park looking beautiful in her heels. Meanwhile, I was in my old sneakers and didn't get a chance to shower because I was doing apparently 'unimportant things' all morning while she was at a meeting. It was a Monday and I was feeling a little smothered by my kids and very unproductive. Truthfully, there are many moments I miss my teaching job so these comments cut deep. The conversation left me thinking ..shit, ‘important’? So what I do all day isn't? Does she think I’m not intelligent enough to go to a meeting? or hold a job? The conversation made me feel I wasn't good enough.

Do we see the trend?

SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND THINK FIRST WHEN TALKING TO A MOM.

All good moms wonder if that grass is greener on the other side. All good moms think there’s a chance they’re making some colossal mistake with their children- every.single.day. Be gentle. Be kind. For there is no perfect way to do this mom thing.

I am learning that unconfident moms are actually the ones that pretend their path is perfect.

The self-consumed and therefore unaware moms make the comments that put your path down.

May I/we push ourselves to stand a little taller in our own shoes. Let this enable us to see above our own lives so that we may see that all mother's metaphorical shoes are worn thin. Love on them because only *t h e y* know what their life is like and only *t h e y* know what their “best” path is.

Sis- you're a great mom. We may have a different day to day but the love for our children is all the same. Block out the noise from those that cannot see that every path is not intended to be like their own and may we instead surround ourselves with those that can see this whole picture.

Lastly, may we forge our own paths- busting through both the "prairie dress" and "high heeled" mentality people of the world, with our shoulders *always* rolled back.