Dear Boys,

Dear Boys- especially my older two nuggets- don't you forget this Friday night. The day you came home from school and found your mother lost her mind and dyed her hair blue. It was the same day you ALL decided you wanted to join me. Yep- me. Let me repeat this...

You wanted to be like ME-your mother.

At 8 we are beginning to reach that line where not everything I do is cool and I can actually be embarrassing to you. I'm noticing the shift in our conversations. In the past it was a complete word vomit including every play by play of each minute you spent without me. Things are beginning to morph to the ..."it was good" response phase when asked about your day. I need to invest time with just you and read between lines and pull certain pieces of information out and have the patience of a saint to feel we are on the same page.

At 6 and because you are not the first boy, you are in a similar phase already. It must be contagious. It's happening faster for you.

The two of you old heads work together to be little pests. I get more questions about why my pants are too short or if I've noticed there may be something in my teeth. There's always giggling and little pranks asking if anything scary was hiding in my shower. It depends on the circumstance but I am often "mom" instead of "mommy" now. Yes "bruh" slips out but that's been addressed quite aggressively so that's at least on pause for the moment. Thank God.

You asked if we can hug at the bus- instead of kiss this week. Our relationship is beginning to shift. Dad is becoming the "cool" one. Dad knows more about sports and dad is a boy and dad can fix my ipad and dad dad dad blahblahblah ....

I realize that in 5 to 10 years I may find some days and nights where you're all at this point at the same time- where I'm flying solo- so let me remind you of this Friday night. The Friday night where you all (at the same time) wanted to be like me.

Your short pantsed- something in my teeth- cool ass- mother.

Your love still includes a ton of random hugs in the hallway. Don't you dare let that disappear. Right now you dump your chocolate milk in a coffee mug (just like mine)and shimmy on next to me in the morning. You steal my sweatshirts or green sweatpants to sleep with at night and we don't talk about it but I know you find them comfy. You steal my lotion and use it because "your skin is dry" but truthfully you like the smell of it and don't want to admit it.

You hold on to the notes I leave for you in your lunchbox and I find them in random places in your room or hidden inside a lunch box compartment. Our love is becoming a little more inward and not the same as before.

My 2 year old- I didn't forget about you but for now- I'm still your whole world. It's an exhausting; yet beautiful thing.

When you all get to that spot where mom is the un-coolest of all, let me remind you of this Friday night. Where we all wore blue hair.

Can you guess why your mom always picks blue? Nope- it's never been my favorite color but it's what I'll always pick now💙💙💙

XOhboys,

Mommy/Mom