3- 6- 9

“3-6-9 goose drank wine” or maybe you connect better with... "To the window...to the wall..." 🙃

Bahhaha just kidding- These are just the ages of my children when I began having those weird “middle mom” feelings. It was back in June when I first started writing this. We were at my youngest’s well-visit and we brought along his two “dads”- oops- I mean brothers….

Just like that- I felt I wasn’t needed. I understand this is quite untrue and wildly dramatic but it was the sentiment at that moment.

After his oldest brother repeatedly spoke over top of me in order to answer the doctor’s questions, I wove my white flag of surrender. The doc swiveled his chair away from me and toward Liam where he continued the exam. He answered everything about his little brother accurately- actually- quite painfully so. Oh c’mon you know when you normally lie on a few questions here and there- ex amount of screen time, favorite foods, ya know the usual lies? They were all bluntly told truthfully. Ex. Favorite food- “ohhhh-anything from Burger King! We go all the time!,” he exclaimed. As I sat there half sweating wondering if I’d be escorted out for “forcing him to stay in his room at bedtime *every night*” I noticed Blake too was invested. He was making a list of a few things we were going to work on with Rhett directly on that scratchy paper that lined the table (in between stabbing holes in it). When the torture was finally done, the doctor shook my hand and said…

Mom- you’re doing good.

PS- I had my favorite pediatrician that day. I don’t always get so lucky. Pediatricians- please say this more. We need it. I digress.

We all kind of fell out of the room mimicking marbles out of a jar. Liam awkwardly carried Rhett’s 45 lb body down the hall. Blake tried to open the door but it swung back and hit Rhett right in the head. Liam tripped over who the hell knows what and at one point I stood in the hall staring at my 3 kids who were all on the floor.

Ok, us middle moms are still needed but - differently. We are more of a referee now or maybe a bodyguard or a bouncer at a club.

While checking out I reprimanded them for: their volume, their swinging arms, their attempt to stand on the bench to see a picture, their attempt to hold each other up to see this same picture, their need to say please if they want a sticker, their giggling that was too loud for inside, their obsessive pumping of the antibacterial gel and the very strong inner desire to give a little baby their goldfish. It was probably a 6 minute check out experience.

We stumbled through the doors to get outside and I snapped this picture.

They didn't need me (in the same way) today. Sure that picture would be down and destroyed, someone may not be living, and a baby was going to be forced to have their first goldfish but they didn't “need” me to get them in and out of their car seat or to open the door or to go to the bathroom and I didn’t even have a diaper bag with me. Heck, the actual appointment was led by my 9 year old.

That’s a freaking weird celebration if I ever heard one. When your kids don’t “need” you in the same way.

Through this crazy month of June we had A LOT of birthdays. My kiddos are now 3, 6, and 9 and no they don’t drink wine…but they’re a damn good time ;) Hopefully some grasp this connection besides myself.

I have a copious amount of unfinished entries from this summer just lying in my docs acct on this very topic- a middle mom and this transition. I plan on selecting a few to finish this year but for now I'll leave you with this general theme…

Embrace where you are today.

No matter what stage of life and no matter what the "need" looks like right now, you matter. You will miss the hilarity of today if you yearn for yesterday. Embrace your "marbles" and that referee whistle (or whatever it may be) because that is your beautiful today.

-xohboymom